Sometimes it's okay to say no, even when it's hard.
I should be leaving on a jet plane...don't know when I'd be back again...
Okay that's not true, I really should be leaving on a jet plane today though, and I would be back by Saturday.
And it would be fully paid for by these great companies:
And I would get to brunch with this gorgeous food celeb:
And I would be previewing said celeb's new line of home decor goodness:
And I would be doing all this in a city I've never been to:
But I said no.
Here me out. I about pee'd my pants when I opened up my email asking if I'd like to go to NYC to join Sandra Lee's Summer Carnival home decor preview.
I got the email when I was at SNAP. When I was already taking 3 days away from my kids. When I was already near tears the whole trip knowing I missed my daughter's birthday. My last child turning 3, I'd never have a 2 year old again and I missed her last day being an official toddler.
I got the email on the 19th. My twin sister was due with her first biological son on the 23rd (her 20 month old son was adopted by she+hubby at birth, after trying for 7 years to have a baby). I already said no to SNAP, but Kristi surprised me with a ticket and insisted I go and promised her son wouldn't be born until I got home. Only you know how having a baby is, you never really know the date. I myself was 5 days overdue with my first baby...which would put me at the 27th, the middle of my NYC trip.
And speaking of her older boy, he's got a surgery scheduled for Thursday the 26th, today!-for ear tubes. And her hubby works 3 hours away. What if she were to go into labor during her toddler's surgery? Would she get the support in the hospital until her hubby arrived? Would her young son have someone who loves him as much as his mama's twin to wake up to after anesthesia?
These were unknown questions I had when I got the incredible offer. I wasn't willing to miss Kristi's birthing experience. I wasn't willing to miss supporting her son during his outpatient surgery. I wasn't ready to leave my kids again after only being home for 3 days. I wasn't wanting to ditch my hubby again so quickly. I wasn't willing to have my awesome sisters have to babysit day and night again on short notice. Kristi insisted I go, she said she'd be fine without me. Of course she would, but was I willing to miss out on big events in my sister's life for blogging?
During SNAP, I was able to talk to several bloggers who so well understood my situation. One girl said, "Kelli, if you're even questioning going, you know the answer". Darn, she was right...it was an amazing offer but I knew in my heart it wasn't the right time. Another girl said, "If you put God first, He won't deny you of His blessings."
So to all my friends at SNAP who listened to me hem and haw for hours, thank you for helping me make the right choice when it was hard to do so. I literally lost a full night's sleep before sending back that email...
Sometimes it's okay to say no. I always try to put family first. And when I don't...I regret it.
Would you have done the same? Am I crazy??
In the end would you remember going to the conference or regret missing out on probably the most awesome experience of your sister giving birth? You made the right decision, plus I'm sure there will be many more opportunities for you to go to NYC and hang with celebs :)
ReplyDeleteI think you definitely made the best choice! I think putting family first is important...remember they are actual celebrities too... just in your family. ;) Megan
ReplyDeleteI would have done the same thing. You would have regretted not being there for your sister. You will have more opportunities, I'm sure!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time following a blog. I want to adopt you two as my sisters...thank you for your sweet reminder of what is enduring and true. You will never regret putting relationships first. The opportunity to go to NY will come again and it will be sweeter than ever because of this decision you made.
ReplyDeleteYou are a GREAT sister, mom, wife, & aunt. We remember how we feel & made others feel so much more that experiences themselves. This is an amazing time for your family and I for whatever my two cents it worth...I think you did the right thing. NYC will always be there!
ReplyDeleteI believe we just have to go with our own intuition in life, it's there to guide us with these sort of scenarios...I believe you made the absolute right decision! You will look back down the road and see it was the right choice. You put your family on top of the list and that is truly an amazing thing. There will be other opportunities. You went to SNAP and am sure you will grow leaps and bounds from that experience. Stay true to who you are and what you feel is 'right'. Heather
ReplyDeleteYOu are SO NOT crazy! YOu are an amazing mom and such a good sister. I wish my sisters were like you. Your hubby and your kids need you more than Sandra Lee does. I am so happy for you that you even got the offer. That is amazing! There will be more like it, when the time is right for you. :)
ReplyDeleteI am still so proud of you for listening and putting your family first. You inspired me that day and reminded me about why we do what we do. More blessings will come, I promise! Miss you!
ReplyDeleteTalk to you soon!
love ya
Tausha
I think that would be a hard decision for any of us to make! I think it is awesome that you put your family first. I bet that years down the road you won't even remember who Sandra is, but you'll cherish the moments you spent with your family. You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you were right on with your decision, Kelli! Though how awesome to have been asked! :)
ReplyDeleteI should have prefaced this post by saying this has NEVER happened to us before. Like we're often offered paying gigs to jet set to NYC! Not a chance, LOL! Which is why it was so hard, I don't think it'll happen again soon, if ever. Which is fine, I felt like it was a test and I think I passed??
ReplyDeleteTHANKS friends!! You're all right..thanks for the support! THIS is why I love blogging. Even though it's a "virtual" world...there are real people at the ends of those computers.
Love you girls! XOXO, Kelli
You are awesome Kelli. I am glad you chose to share this with all of us. Sometimes it really is hard to make the right choice when we are faced with good and good. Which is good and better? It is hard. Honestly, it is so hard to see the lines sometimes. I think you passed and are blessing all of us at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how hard it would be to pass up such an exciting offer. Sometimes in life, you look back, and you know why something happened as it did, even though you can't see the whole picture now. You made the right choice for you and your family. It was your gut instinct and you put your family first. I hope another opportunity presents itself at the right time for you to embrace it =) Best wishes!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a Beautiful post. I know I am a stranger but I am proud of the choice & example you are to your kids, family, friends & yes us strangers. Now days Family tends to get put on the back burner for careers & a step up on the ladder in life. Family is what is important & your family is Very Lucky to have you!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're not crazy. You're an incredible mother and sister with priorities that are in the right place. Well done.
ReplyDeleteHey Kelli you did the right thing! I got an invite on the 13th but I had to turn it down due to a conference that has been scheduled since last Christmas! I sooo wish I was going but I hope that I will have another great opportunity like this someday!
ReplyDeleteWhat? I didn't even hear about this...so much for our friendship....
ReplyDeletej/k you made the right decision. sheesh, why did they have to drop the bomb on you with such short notice? Fun to be asked, but yeah, you gotta limit the time away. I didn't realize your sis surprised you with the ticket to SNAP, how wondeful! And the baby did wait;)
You are not crazy - good for your for being such a good momma!! But still...that does stink!!! Sometimes we just wish our schedules could align a litttttle nicer, eh?? :)
ReplyDeleteBoy those are hard decisions!! But you did the right thing - you would never regret choosing to stay at home with your family! :)
ReplyDeleteIt was so nice to meet you last week! I wish we'd had a little more time to chat!
I'm glad you stayed, I don't recall you telling Marci and I ALL of the what ifs. Had you I too would have leaned to stay instead of saying go like I did that morning. I am sure you will get another opportunity when the time is right :) Hugs from Conroe, Texas
ReplyDeleteI was wondering what you had finally decided! It sounds like it was a hard decision but you are at peace with it so boom! You made the right decision! More opportunities will come up for you guys, believe me!
ReplyDeleteGive Kristi's baby a smooch from Aunt Landee, k?
Wow, that really would be a tough decision, Kelli, but I agree with every comment before me - I think you made the right choice to pass this time. And although you say this was your first offer, I am sure there will be more to come. You girls are so easy to love and relate to and are so talented - brands will be fighting over you soon!
ReplyDeleteOh man, it's hard to turn down what seems like amazing opportunities. But then you stop and think about it- you'll be having amazing opportunities at home! Good post- and good decision, it sounds like.
ReplyDeletexo Becca
I think you made the best choice for you :)
ReplyDeleteGosh I wish some day I will get opportunities like this one. :)
dang.... I should have dyed my hair DARK and jumped on the plane for you two. Didn't think of that lol!
ReplyDeleteStill think you are a smidge crazy sis ;)
Glad you were able to make the decision that calmed your heart. I have been thinking about you and wondering what you choose. I had a feeling what your choice would be. Good for you. I was so glad to meet you at Snap! Hope to see you again at another blogging conference. Snap! 2013! :O)
ReplyDeleteYou had such a tough decision to make, and I'm glad you had like-minded around you at the time to listen as you talked it out! It sounds like you made the right decision for you and your family. It's hard to say no to something so wonderful! You were brave and faithful in your decision and a great example to all us moms/wives/sisters/women/bloggers!
ReplyDeleteYou are incredible!!!! Seriously had no idea this was going on!!!! I love this post made me tear up a little bit that you were there for your sister and that she surprised you with a ticket! Family is always a choice you won't regret, that was a hard thing to do but I love you even more after reading this post :)
ReplyDeleteIn my world family is huge so Ican understand why you gave up NYC. But I have to admit that was a pretty sweet trip that you got offered! Good thing someone else sees how great uour ideas/projects are and wants you for bigger events!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely made the right decision. More opportunities will come down the road. I love you girls to pieces!! XO
ReplyDelete